I wish I could punch you in the face.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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