Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Hippo gnu deer
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I am one with the molecules
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize