He uses pillows to masturbate.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
this is an emotional support booty call
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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