I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
