none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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