Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
