I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
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I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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