the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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