College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Come back. Shots need mouths.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
