I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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