I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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