she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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