im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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