You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
