i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
