She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
