You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
