My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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