You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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