so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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