Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
