sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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