hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Is Oprah even human
Randomize
