Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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