i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
