Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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