New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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