Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
