Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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