i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
