good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
