We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
