He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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