Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize