I'm laying in your front yard are you home
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
