You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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