Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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