I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize