i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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