i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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