i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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