he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
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new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
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Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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