It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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