I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he laminated a picture of his dick.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
