how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize