hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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