tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
the liver wants what the liver wants
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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