I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
My vagina is very pro this idea
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
