Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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