I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Let's paint friendship bongs
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
