this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Randomize
