I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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