so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Well I just put wine in my tea
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
