your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
