Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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