Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
