I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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