Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
